Tessa Talks: Purposeful Lifestyle Development

Moving Into Your Growth Era (Or Any New Season)

Tessa Spisak Season 6 Episode 70

Are you ready to move into your new era or new season of life? To level up? Or just have a bit more intuitive comfort through the ebbs and flows? This episode is for you.
 
This episode covers the beauty and science of intuition and how it can be harnessed as an instinctive power. Its roots are in our natural human power, seen even as far back as our ancestor's survival instincts.
This episode also covers how our brains respond to uncertainty, and more importantly - how to change it.

Most importantly, this episode guides you through the process of recognizing when it's time for a change and how to create new patterns to manifest your dream life. This can be the start of your enlightening journey of self-discovery, manifestation, and the power of embracing change.
This is your chance to discover how tuning into your intuition can align you with your life purpose and help you be a beacon of light.

From Coach T -
"I AM BACK!! Thank you all so much for your patience as I took a few weeks off of the podcast to spend a few weeks traveling and loving on friends and family. All my love to you, and we are back to new episodes each week!! Thank you for being here ❤️"

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Speaker 1:

You cannot step into something new by judging or hating where you are now. You have to do it through desire and through love the desire to be this new you and to love yourself enough to do it. Hello, my loves, and welcome to the Purposeful Lifestyle Development Podcast, where we discuss all things thought, work and manifestation but we use neuroscience in the study of the brain to do so. I'm your host, tessa Spiezak. I'm a board certified practitioner, master, life and health coach and seasoned executive speaker. If you're ready to create your highest value lifestyle and turn your dream life into a reality, you're in the right place. Let's get right into today's episode. Hello, hello, my loves. I always start this episode with welcome back to you, but today I'm starting with I'm back.

Speaker 1:

It has been a wonderful few weeks taking a bit of a brain break to travel with my family, let myself recharge, honestly regain some brain power and to be super real, allow a bit of new creative energy to come into play. So thank you so much for your patience, as I took these last few weeks off from the podcast and, to be quite honest, taking a break was a really difficult decision for me to make because, truthfully, there's this big part of me. That I mean for those of you who have tuned in for a while now or for those of you that know me. You know I am a bit of a recovering perfectionist. But there was this big part of me that honestly wanted to go through the life journey of this podcast and be able to say I never took a break. I never missed a single week. Every week was just as good as the week before that, or even better, and I never missed a beat. But that's not how it worked out and, honestly, that's not what I'm all about. I really, at the core of it, want to make sure that I'm providing you guys in my community with really quality content that actually does set you up for a good week ahead.

Speaker 1:

And I think intuitively and I'm going to come back to intuition here in a minute that plays on a lot of what I want to talk about but intuitively I knew that it was just really important to get myself more realigned again with my why and my purpose and to share that with you guys. It is to spread love and light in the world. I truthfully, honestly, at my core, believe that when people are happier and when we're more in tune with our purpose and we're actively pouring good, intentionally pouring good into our own cup, which then, as the flow of reality goes, our cup begins to overflow. All of those good things that we poured into our own selves. That starts to overflow into those around us and when enough of us do it, it really tips the scale in favor of good and of beauty in this world. So, that being said, just as a heads up for what this episode is about today, I mean, of course, I definitely want to give you a quick update on what I've been up to and what's been going on, and I'm really drawn to have a conversation today about our intuition, what I believe is our sixth sense. I want to talk about how we tap into it and how do we use it, especially right now, and especially in terms of changing seasons or our new eras in life. And so for my folks that are ready to change, or you're in the midst of an up level or getting ready for an up level, this one is for you. So, super quick, before I get into it, just for a fun little backstory on my summer travels, I want to talk about that just super briefly, but I will put a time marker in the show notes. If you don't care at all and you're just here for the juicy stuff and the message, you can skip ahead to that.

Speaker 1:

But I think I had mentioned on my last episode, before I took my break, that I was traveling the summer and this first place that we went was Italy. Something that has been on my dream board and my vision board since forever. It was to spend some summer time in Italy and it manifested for me. Actually I think honestly I'm being a little silly, but a better way to say that was that my mother-in-law. She manifested it for herself and I was just a happy byproduct of her wish and her own intention. We actually went as her retirement celebration and I guess she's been telling her family for years, or even more like decades, since they were kids, that when she retires she wants a family trip to Italy. She didn't care how it happened, she wasn't even sure when she was retiring, so that didn't matter, she just knew that's what she wants. And a side note here, she spent her career as an epidemiologist, so that's someone who studies infectious disease and how it spreads. So, needless to say, she's had a busy few years before this coming up retirement, so definitely. It was absolutely, without a doubt, a privilege to go. We were so lucky and blessed to go, but the fact is that when she finally decided like hey, I'm retiring, she told the family, like you know, I've been telling you this your whole life pick a date, find the travel agent, make sure it happened.

Speaker 1:

And we stepped up to the plate. We made it happen. There was nine of us for 10 days and we did a bit of a tour. We traveled through the beautiful Tuscan countryside, we had some amazing wine and the most breathtaking sightseeing. Then we made our way to Rome to see the Sistine Chapel and some old religious art and, yeah, I'm still speechless. Even so, many years later and so many people having gone through this area, the energy of that place is still just something else. And even aside from that, just seeing the dedication and the time and the thought that went into the infrastructure to do that detailed work, it was something really, really incredible. And if you ever get the opportunity, it's worth the long lines, it's worth the heat just to experience it.

Speaker 1:

So, after Rome, we went to what I have to say is probably my favorite place in the whole world now, which is Capri. It's this tiny little island up the west coast of kind of mid Italy. It's in the Tirian Sea and it was like nothing I have ever, ever seen. It was very, very well to do Beautiful shopping, gorgeous outdoor lunches. We had way too many apparel spritz and lemon cellos, but it was a highlight of the summer, I think. For me, that place, it speaks to my soul. It was amazing. It made me feel so motivated I don't even know what the right word is it just made me feel like hell. Yes, this place is so cool. But after Capri, we had a look around Napoli before heading home, dead tired, but the whole trip was so great to get to see so many pieces of this country and by the end of it, you know, we fared the jet lag pretty well, so I'm very glad for that.

Speaker 1:

So after we got home from this once in a lifetime, super special, super magical trip, something that is so different than what I'm used to, we had like 72 hours to get a little bit of sleep, get it together, recalibrate in you know a completely different time zone, and drive down to the Gulf of Mexico for my mom's birthday. Now, this is really, really special and something that I could not miss, because we have been going to the same beach for her birthday every single year since I was a little girl and it is so, so special, not only for her but for me too, and now getting to bring my family where I used to as you know a six-year-old girl make sand castles and sand angels. I'm now bringing my family so that's a little bit of a happy tear to bring us all together very new season, very beautiful, and I think there's something really magical about revisiting such familiar places and channeling your favorite memories, especially in contrast to the new things that you're actively bringing into your life. It's a really solid anchoring or grounding point to see what it is you want and where you want to go moving forward, for me at least. So once we got home from that beach trip to celebrate my mom, we had just a minute before we packed up again to head somewhere.

Speaker 1:

That, I gotta say, was a bit different for me, and now I'm a traveler. I love it, I prioritize it in my life. It is very, very important to me, but I've never really been a mountain girly. But y'all, the last in line of our travels was going to Whitefish, montana somewhere. Admittedly, I gotta say I've never really thought about before, but I get it. I get why y'all are so in love with Montana.

Speaker 1:

We were there for our dear friend, kirstie in Holmes wedding. It was so, so beautiful. We cried tears of happiness, danced until we were all barefoot. It was amazing. But it was right on the lake and it had the mountains in the background. There's so many beautiful trails. I love it. We did so so much exploring. We had to buy bear spray, of all things, did not see any bears, which I feel like I'm disappointed at, but I I feel like that's also probably very ignorant. I just wanted to see some off in the distance. I've never seen a bear in real life before, but it was absolutely beautiful.

Speaker 1:

We went to Glacier National Park and I'm a hiker, or at least I thought I was, but I have never seen anything like this, so much untouched land. It really really does something for my soul. I think it's another thing that, for me at least, that same feeling, that grounding, it's a real strong reminder of nature and creation and all the forces that be that are outside of us and outside of human intervention and human creation. I don't know, it feels like a cleanse to me when you get to be that connected to nature. And again I recognize how big of a blessing and a privilege it is to be able to spend a summer celebrating our parents and celebrating our friends and getting that time to unplug a bit, to dive into the lessons that we learn along the way while we aren't so distracted.

Speaker 1:

But one concept that kept coming up for me and just finding its way into my thoughts while we swung from that busy, hectic planning to fully relaxed and unplugged and then back again into the craziness, but it was the thought of how we get into a space where we are able to intuitively tap in, how to better listen to your inner self and when to trust it. And how do we differentiate, how do we know when something is an intuitive thought or a nudge versus maybe an older part of our subconscious, some subconscious thought, maybe a limiting belief or something that doesn't serve us at this time, et cetera. All of that Because, as I said at the beginning here, I believe our intuition is just as much of a sense for us as taste, touch, sight, hearing, all of that. But I believe that the only reason we don't consider it to be is because it's something that we can't measure across the board. You can measure your sight. Put something over your eye, tell me, read this. You can measure your hearing. Raise your hand when you hear the beep, something like this. But you can't necessarily test intuition in that same way, but I do want to talk about it a little.

Speaker 1:

Let's talk about your intuition. What is it? Let's start by defining it. Y'all know I really like to start with a definition here, but intuition is the ability to understand something immediately, without the need for conscious reasoning. So that means it's the ability to understand or just know something immediately, right off the bat, based on your feelings, rather than having to be presented with facts, consider those facts and intentionally make a conscious choice. It's more of a natural ability or a power that makes it possible to know something without direct proof of evidence. It's a feeling that guides a person to act in a certain way without even fully needing to understand why.

Speaker 1:

And now this isn't a woo-woo concept, even though I admittedly personally use it in woo-woo ways but in psychology it's believed that intuition comes from natural human powers of pattern matching. That's all really good pattern matching. And the mind, basically instinctively, is able to comb through stored experience, even things that are in long-term memory and the subconscious for similar situations that allow us to make those instant in the moment judgments just based off them, based on those past experiences, basically using all of our insights faster than a way that we're aware of or maybe even capable to logically do, if that makes sense. It's just a quick, natural process in the brain and super simple explanation for this is highway hypnosis. We've talked about this one before on the podcast just because it is such a well-known phenomena and something that I think most of us have experienced. But highway hypnosis is where someone who's driving has traveled for miles without a conscious thought about the activity of driving the car. Especially this happens when it's a route they've taken over and over again. But the brain knows what to expect. Therefore, it knows what to look for and it lets you kind of go into a bit of autopilot.

Speaker 1:

And there are more arguments, which I also have explained before that intuition was a survival instinct gained in that older part of our brain through our hunter-gatherer days. But we know that the brain can't function if we are in constant hyperdrive, actively thinking about and scanning everything. We can't do it just like our ancestors couldn't do that. So instead, instead of the brain constantly scanning for a threat even when there is no sight of one around, the subconscious takes over in a way, and it's trusting that what you already know and the signs of danger that you already know or the signs of change that you already know, like think back hunter-gatherer days, just like wrestling, leaves in the distance where it should be quiet, and you know it's normally quiet. You may instinctively know that that could be a predator and your body prepares for it and you're ready to run and your heartbeat starts faster and your adrenaline starts going. All of this happens without you having to have the instinctive thought of I believe that there is a predator, because this piece of land is normally quiet and I heard wrestling, that sounded like footsteps. You don't have to go through all of that. It's just I snapped. I don't know if you could hear that, but it's really quick, instantaneous, and that part of the intuition is what I want to talk about today.

Speaker 1:

Sometimes our intuition is telling us something, but it's not so instantaneous. It's more of that gut feeling and a big time where I think that really comes into play for us. When we get that gut feeling, that internal draw, is when our intuition is telling us that what we're doing now does not serve us to our best and maybe that just means that it's time to move into a new season, greet something new, a new era, if you will. Now I kind of went into what I've been up to and clearly my last season blessed to be able to do it was about rest, rejuvenation, travel, learning, applying the lessons that I know and I've learned along the way, and that season really allowed me to create an intuitive space that was able to tell me very clearly Look, I'm refreshed, I'm good, this season served its purpose and it's come to an end and I am ready to put the work in and when I do and I'm ready to rebuild that structure, rebuild that growth zone, I know it'll be for something great. I don't have fear necessarily around it, or even if I do, it's not something enough to keep me away. But I'm ready for that new season and I believe we all ebb and flow between the seasons in our life.

Speaker 1:

I did an episode gosh, I couldn't even tell you maybe last summer, but it's titled EBS and Flows. That was one of my most popular ones. It was, I think, pretty decently insightful, for especially what a lot of the folks that I was working with at the time. You know again, probably around the same time of the year, but it's that ebbing and flowing between the seasons of our lives, changing, growing, building and then enjoying and living in that growth, slowing down and being a bit softer than we are when we are in that more rigid growth mode. So I want to talk about that shift, the shift when you know it's time to move into something new.

Speaker 1:

You intuitively know that you're ready for the new season, for that new era, and you're ready for something to change. That feeling is a strong one, and it can show up in a lot of different ways. Maybe it starts to feel like you're stuck, kind of like stuck in the mud. Or maybe, when you finish your day, you have that familiar thought of ugh, I wish it had gone this way instead. I wish I had done this instead. I wish my life looked like this. And you know that whatever you're doing now, while it might have suited you, for a thousand different reasons, a whole host of different reasons, anything from that's what you knew that made sense to you needed comfort after something else. Whatever that reason is, you know it doesn't serve you anymore and a lot of us can be directed to get these feelings in a few different ways. A lot of times some external change begets the change you want to see in you. And let me explain to you what I mean by that, because there's a few different ways this can show up.

Speaker 1:

I know, for me personally and a lot of us, I'm directed by the seasons. Mention this a little bit before, I believe it was actually in that ebbs and flips, but I'm not sure what it was in Flo's episode. But I'm still a bit conditioned by the seasons. You know, january to March, I'm in that growth, pushing, creating zone, but then about springtime, march to May, it's mine and my loved one's birthdays. It's my favorite season. It's, you know, everything is beautiful. I'm still feeling really inspired, but I am also more inspired to enjoy the growth that I've put in the beginning of the year.

Speaker 1:

Then, about June to August is, you know, summertime. My kiddos home work is changing a little bit. I get to at least, even if I'm not changing my activities as much. My head space is. I want to relax and allow the flow and allow the almost feminine side of the more masculine that I had been in for that year is I had been pushing, growing, grinding, and then it's time to relax, enjoy and receive it right Before moving into the holiday season, which for me is about family gratitude and I am less so rigid on myself, I'm much more outwardly focused, but this is the point in the year that I'm ready to get back into that growth zone. I'm ready to build and move and groove and grow and all of that.

Speaker 1:

But this can also happen for a lot of people with just the normal happenings of life, which also can be a bit seasonal too. Maybe right now at this time, if you've just gone back to school or someone in your house has, or there's some change in dynamic after summer, like this, is a very popular time to move or again just create that new routine, like for me, my travel season is over, my step son is back in school, my husband is getting busier with the work in his universities, and so it makes sense that, aside from my normal seasonal flow, the lives of the people around me are changing too, so it helps direct that new era, and so one of the things I coach on a lot is that when there's already some change in dynamic, like you are already navigating some change in your schedule or something like that, just a change in your life. I think it's the best time to really catapult into that new change that you want, basically using that change, especially if there is an inherent change in your schedule. Use that to help build another one. It's a lot easier to create new habits and build out new habit stacks when you're somewhat forced out of old habits. You're not having to will your way out or try your way out. It's that life change. So you're just away from it and instead of falling back into something that you don't like, intentionally creating something new. But regardless of how this time comes about, you know when it's time and most people will change.

Speaker 1:

Even though I don't necessarily like this sentence, it's a truth, it's very true. But when the pain or discomfort of staying the same is greater than a discomfort of change, that's when most people will change. And I don't say discomfort like a dirty word, I'm more so referencing that pick your hard saying, and I think you might have heard this one before. If you haven't, it's so good. But this pick your hard quote lists out hards and the opposites of so it goes. Yes, marriage is hard, but divorce is hard too, so pick your hard. Staying fit is hard, but obesity is hard, so pick your hard. Being in debt is hard, but so is being financially disciplined. The pain of not communicating versus the pain of having a hard conversation, right Depending on the conversation usually and of course we're not talking about specific outliers here but you get the sentiment that you get to pick your hard. So, yes, change can be hard. We've talked about that.

Speaker 1:

It's difficult for the brain. We're not really wired that way. The brain is naturally resistant to uncertainty. I've said it before. But the brain's whole job is to help protect you from threats, to keep you alive, even if things aren't life or death situations. The brain doesn't really register it on a scale that way. So it's important to know that, yeah, routines, patterns. They provide us a sense of security, and trying to deviate from that pattern or that routine that you've already set in can trigger some discomfort. So please refer back to choose your hard.

Speaker 1:

But there's also a good side of that coin Is that the brain really likes routine, likes pattern, so we can create that new pattern that becomes more familiar and becomes that new. But I like to be aware so that when things are difficult. We're not blaming ourselves, we're not putting any judgment on ourselves. We're like oh yeah, this is just what the brain does. Change introduces us to some type of uncertainty that activates the brain's threat response. So that's why even the prospect of change whether it's good change or not, right it can evoke a little resistance. It's just our brain perceiving it as a potential threat. It has nothing to do with our motivation, our discipline, our drive, how much we want it, what kind of person we are, nothing like that. It's just how we human. It's how the brain works.

Speaker 1:

So, knowing all of this, how do we say OK, cool, but how do we change something about ourselves and change something about our day to day activities to be more in line with what you want? Well, I'm going to give you the formula for exactly how to apply this to your life. And, of course, since our reasoning is backed up in neuroscience, so is the formula as always. First and foremost sorry if this sounds a bit repetitive, but we always got to start here, guys, we have to cultivate some kind of awareness. This is going to help your prefrontal cortex override whatever default patterns and how it's set in its ways, so to speak. So how to move away from the patterns and the habits and the things that we want to change. We have to cultivate some awareness. So what does that mean?

Speaker 1:

Take your day inventory. Take a very serious and real look at what's going on in your life, what your schedule looks like, what conscious and unconscious thoughts you have throughout the day, which ones of those are serving you, which ones do you want to keep, maybe uplift, do a little more, give yourself a pat on the back for, or which ones do you want to do away with, even if you're not sure yet how you want to get rid of them? Just note the ones you want to get rid of and then walk through the steps of your day and actually feel through the steps of your day. And this is in thought, right, because emotions are energy in motion. So how does your energy feel when you think about your day? What feels like flow and what feels like resistance or a block in the road? And I really suggest trying to do this as objectively as you can, meaning don't put any judgment on the things you want to change. Here's an example. I just did this with a client before, so think of it this way Maybe one of the things that's holding you back from stepping into your next era and your next season and being the you that is more you that you want to be.

Speaker 1:

But something that's holding you back is your sleep routine. You're staying up way too late and that ruins your morning and you don't know how to change it. And da, da, da, da da. I don't want you to be the judge here. I don't want you to judge that because, objectively, being up at two in the morning it's not a good or bad thing. There is no arbitrary value and it doesn't change the type of person you are when you are awake versus asleep. However, when we've moved past that judgment, we can recognize that being up at 2 am does change how you go through your day. Right, it does take away that morning routine. It does make you groggy x, y, z, so we want to correct it.

Speaker 1:

But I need you to hear this clearly you cannot step into something new by judging or hating where you are now. You have to do it through desire and through love the desire to be this new you and to love yourself enough to do it, and you want to use really mindful and thoughtful practices to do so. It might take a while to feel through and be able to feel through what you need to do. And this is why things like meditation, journaling, yoga, tapping, whatever they're so important, because they give you that chance to think. You can brain dump, you can clear the noise, you can get past the normal ruminating rolodex of thoughts right. To create that new habit. You're actually going to have to rewire old neural pathways or old ways of thinking, just ingrained thought patterns, and create a new response to those situations. It requires mindfulness in terms of think of it this way, in terms of your conscious awareness of your own brain's behaviors and patterns at the very moment that they occur. That way you are able to be in control, to be in the driver's seat and change those habits into the direction that you want.

Speaker 1:

Then the key is to keep your focus there. Keep your focus on the thing that you want. I remind you guys, get clear on what that ideal day looks like. Create that focus in your mind and keep visualizing it Literally. This is my challenge to you Schedule out a time for you to visualize and go through the motions. If you can have it stack on this, great. If that's maybe taking a piece of your hot girl walk or your walk outside and visualizing that perfect day without your headphones in, great, awesome. If that is setting five minutes to close your eyes down, quiet your head, space down and sit after a workout, great. If you want to start taking a bath and you'll do it there, I don't care Whatever makes more sense to you, but schedule in that time to visualize and move through the feelings of this new day.

Speaker 1:

Your brain doesn't know if you're just thinking about something or you're actually experiencing this. We've gone through that right. Let your brain get used to this new reality, to this new schedule, to seeing it, to seeing this new set of habits, to feeling it, whatever that is. Let yourself practice this day in thought so that when you actually do it in action, it is so much easier to go through the motions and your brain isn't fighting you with the fear of change or the fear of newness. It's used to this, it's seen it, she knows right. This is what allows you to build those entirely new neural pathways through repetition and practice of thinking and feeling and acting. We're not just doing the thing a thousand times, we're thinking through it, we're feeling through it and then, when we go to do it in person. It is so much easier. You are thinking about the new day, the new reality, feeling through it, would feel and acting more and more in accordance with it, and your brain isn't fighting you. It's helping you along because this is what it knows. It becomes so much easier.

Speaker 1:

So, as you get going, base your habits on your desired identity, who you want to be, who that next season or era of you is. Who you want to be and what you want to create to receive this new era. This means making your habits a bit of your life project for the time of the change. So if you're like me, for instance, and you're moving from that summer flow, the rest period, into a growth-focused period, or maybe that means you're changing jobs, or you are going to school and maybe you've got a job, maybe your kids are back in school. Whatever the case may be, if it's time for you to move into a new hard, that is the formula based on your brain.

Speaker 1:

Figure out where you are, what you like about it and what you don't like about it. Take inventory on your triggers and your responses in the areas that you want to change. Then get clear on what you'd really really like instead and script it out. Get comfortable with your actual desire and get comfortable visualizing yourself doing exactly that. Then, and only then, do we need to start really getting into that action. Is it so much easier now? We're not fighting against that resistance Every single time you do something, even the tiniest little thing, if it's a new thought, the new baby action, something you do or don't do, whatever it is, even if it is the smallest grain of rice, little baby thing that is closer to what you want and that aligns with that new you and your new season, I want you to recognize it.

Speaker 1:

I want you to congratulate yourself with a little pat on the back. I want you to continue making those changes, even if it's just little grains of rice at a time. Remember, we all get to pick our hard. I'm going to leave you with this question today what would you rather? You are hard to be? Hard because you're learning and working towards who you want to be, or hard because you know you aren't living up to your own potential or your own desires and your intuition is yelling at you that you deserve more or you deserve different. I'm here to tell you if you desire it, you deserve it. My loves, I cannot wait to hear what this new season has in store for you, whatever that growth piece is for you. All my love to you specifically and if you haven't done so, I would so appreciate if this resonated with you leave a positive review, let me know what's going on with you, what helped, especially now that we're back in action. We're talking and we've got the conversation back open again. When you leave a review, when you leave some stars, something like that, maybe even share, what that's going to do is invite others to join that conversation with us too. Put this up in the algorithm so we get this conversation with an even larger, growingly wonderful community.

Speaker 1:

And to everyone who tuned in this week, thank you so much. I missed you. I'm so glad to be back. Have a wonderful week. I'll talk to you soon and I can't wait to hear your stories. So make sure you write in, let me know, either on my socials or at info at purposeful lifestyle development dot com. Talk to you soon. But alright, my loves, that's where I'll leave us today. I want to thank you so much for joining in on this conversation with me, and each week, every Monday, we're going to be posting a new episode going a little bit deeper into the conversation of what you can do to train your brain on purpose to really allow for the lifestyle that you want to live. Until next time, my loves. In the meantime, here's to your health and your happiness.

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